Fashion Recap: What to Wear this Fall for the Curvy Sexy Mami

As fashion week NYC drew to a close I was ecstatic to see that the Plus Size industry was so well represented.  Sonsi.com, Lane Bryant, Kmart, among others highlighted the plus-size revolution that is currently taking place in fashion.  Finally the fashion industry is taking a visible stand to prove that curvy women are equally as beautiful and as fashionable as their size two counterparts with a plus-size runway shows coinciding with the high-fashion shows.  The fashion couldn’t be more fabulous.

After viewing a number of the shows, and picking apart some of the more noticeable collections I found the following to be most desirable.  Here are some faves.

Retro Sophistication-Classic Mami

This season celebrates the femininity of a woman’s curvy curves of the late 50’s into the early 60’s.  Sheaths, full circle skirts, shorter hemlines, paired with heavy wools, leathers, and tulle; this era celebrates the return of the sophisticated lady.

To step back into lady-like sophistication, here is how to fashion this look:

– Bustier tops and dresses amp up the sex kitten of this era

– A return of the kitten heel for subtle sophistication

– Full skirts return with shorter hemlines

– Sheath dresses and pencil skirts accentuating on the curves of the womanly shape

– Fitted turtlenecks and blouses contrasting the voluminous skirts

Maxi sophistication – The Bohemian Mami

For the bohemian at heart, you want to glide down the street looking airy, independent, sensual and playful.  Look for pieces that are ’70s inspired. You want your outfits to have an understated sex appeal, clean lines, and flowing fabrics.

Here is how to wear this look:

– Playful metallic (think all that glitters and shimmers) fabrics strategically draped or fitted across your sexy mami-curves

– Silk blouses and dresses with billowed sleeves and/or bows

– Beautiful pieces in sumptuous silk, seductive satin, or wool.

– Layered turtlenecks and ruffled blouses, not overdone, however.

– Voluminous trousers emphasizing the waistline

Military Sophistication-Tough-As-Nails Mami

Continuing Spring’s military influence, this trend evolves into softer, more subtle lines into Fall. With olive and navy tones and shearling accents, this season’s military direction is found in key elements and found more literal in the aviator influence.

Drawing from a masculine feel, here are key elements to pulling off this look:

– Chic menswear inspirations vamp up the sex appeal with pantsuits and tuxedo jackets

– Jumpsuits continue into fall with a tougher edge

– Roomy cargo pants or the tailored and fitted skinny pants in hues of camel and olive

– Casual and evening looks in various shades of olive-green, camel, and navy

– A minimalistic approach to military jackets and leather bomber jackets trimmed in either shearling or fur (both faux and real if you are so inclined)

Key Looks

In addition to these faves, there are eleven key looks that you will find prevalent throughout the latest Fall fashions.

Whether casual cool or sophisticated chic, these are pieces to update your look with:

– Minimalistic Hues

– Animal prints

– Camel & Pea Coats

– Leather jeggings (I love these)

– Everything Leather

– Fur (faux for animal lovers) and Shearling Coats and Accents

– Sheer details

– Knee High Mami-Boots

– More boots boots boots!!! Heel doesn’t matter

– A regal approach to Velvet

– Sophisticated Capes

I know what I’ll be wearing the next couple of months.

What are some of your favorite trends?  What styles can you NOT simply live without and are classics in your closet no matter what the season?

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Teenaged Daughters: Open the lines of communication

My 15-year-old daughter, R, is in high school, a freshman, & I’ve noticed a blossoming young woman growing & making me proud every day.  She is respectful, she helps around the house, goes to church on Sundays, & doesn’t give me “Boy Grief”, which spares me from my hair turning grayer than it already is.

We have a special bond.  We laugh together and talk about many, many things.  One thing that makes our relationship special, I believe, is that we talk honestly with each other about life, morals, ethics, sexuality, no topic is off-limits or taboo.  I don’t speak graphically on certain things, but I do try to answer her questions clearly.

Many of my friends admire her maturity as well as our relationship and I’m often asked for advice as to how to talk to teenage girls without confrontation, so they listen, and how to diffuse tension between mom & daughter.  Here are 10 things to do today to try to understand your teen, and open the lines of communication, making for a less stressful relationship:

1. When you ask your teenager a question-LISTEN to the answer.   Too many times we ask an opinion or question and respond in a way where we make them feel like their opinion is wrong. “Why did you ask if you ain’t gonna listen to my answer.”

2. Become an ACTIVE LISTENER.  Communication is a two-way street, and sometimes we don’t actually LISTEN to our teens.  How do you do this?

• STOP what you are doing.  (get off your cell phone)
• LOOK at your child. (peel them from your computer)
• GIVE your full attention. (shut the novela off)
• LISTEN to what is said. (tell your comadre you will call her back later)
• COMMENT on what you think you heard.  (everything else can wait)
If your teen agrees that what you heard is what they said and they have asked for an answer, give one-HONESTLY, without JUDGING.  If no question has been asked, comment that you understand. If you did not understand what was said, ASK your teen to clarify what they are trying to tell you and repeat the last two steps until you do.

3. NEVER shut your teen out to show that you disapprove of their behavior. If you need time before you can talk to them about something that has really upset you, tell them “I can’t talk to you right now, I need to cool off”.  Don’t walk away silent.

4. Check your tone of voice. Yelling simply doesn’t work. Your elevated tone and facial expression will just shut her down and you wont get through-you might as well be yelling at the walls. If you’re pissed enough that you just can’t speak regularly, take a chill pill and separate yourself until you have better control of your emotions.

5. Treat your teenager with the same respect you would have them treat you. Say ‘hi’, ‘I love you’, ‘how was your day’, ‘thank you’, ‘you look great today’,  etc.  Too often we are too proud and take a “give me respect & you’ll get it back” attitude with our kids.   Grow up, YOU’RE supposed to be the adult.  BE the adult and respect them first and it will come back to you in waves.

6. ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ doesn’t work. Modeling is the best way of learning. You are your teenager’s model and they will copy your behaviors.  Don’t expect your daughter to act like a lady if you’re walking around shaking watcho’ momma gave you.  Does your daughter have a toilet mouth?  Pay attention to how you express yourself around others and check yourself.

7. Talk often with your teen to bring out positive opinions, ideas, and behaviors by using a positive tone and body language. If you see a negative behavior in someone else, use it as an opening for discussion with your teen. “That girl’s filthy language on the bus makes me wonder if she realizes how unladylike she appears. What do you think?”

8. Do things together one-on-one and with the whole family. Good times TOGETHER open the doors to great conversations, and wonderful memories.

9. PRAISE your teen on positive behaviors and actions, but not in a “mommy” way.  “Thank you, I really needed help with the laundry” as opposed to “Good job, your such a good helper”.

10. Even though your teen may be taller than you, NEVER forget to let them know how much you love her.  Cuddle with her. Tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her you are proud of her.  They may be growing up, but they still need to hear it, and you never know when this affirmation of your love and respect is just the thing they needed to hear.

Hope this helps create peace and harmony in your relationship with your daughter.  If you have any questions, or have a particular situation that you’re dealing with, email me at mamiology101@gmail.com .

What are some of your successful ways to communicate with your teen?

R and I, 8th Grade Graduation 2011

I’m gonna go and squeeze my daughter and tell her I’m lucky to have her as a daughter.

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